Today, Tuesday 11th December was my first physio session, in 4 years. I had no idea so much time had passed since I had been to physio. I really wish that I had kept up with it, even if I just went twice a year as perhaps I wouldn’t be in the mess I am now but life just gets in the way sometimes. Things take priority and then your routine falls by the wayside. Looking at it now I realised that I kept those exercises up for two years until I suffered my spontaneous CSF leak and then it was just too painful to do them.
I back to square minus 100, not one. I have zero core muscle strength. My shoulders are rolling forward and are permanently hunched. I am in pain from the base of my skull to my coccyx. When the doctor suggested physio I knew there was only one I was prepared to see and I was so lucky she was still working there. I use a private physio as she is prepared to listen to me and work with me. Don’t get me wrong I love the NHS, I owe my life to the NHS as without their intervention as a child I would have died from an intussusception. However the NHS isn’t great at treating the growing number of people with chronic illnesses, they want to fix you and then move onto the next patient. With chronic conditions like EDS, PoTs etc there is no fixing, so allotting us a certain amount of physio sessions at 15 minutes a go doesn’t really provide us with much help. Especially if you are working with medical professionals that do not understand your medical condition.
The physio I worked with went away and learnt as much as she could about EDS, then we worked on a plan together. It soon became clear that I wouldn’t be able to do the exercises 4 times a day, I would only be able to do them once a day and that was fine with her, Where as if I had tried to have that conversation with an NHS physio ( and believe me I have) you get made to feel lazy or guilt tripped that you are wasting their time. Seeing her again today, she had already pulled my notes and immediately recognised me in the waiting room. She greeted me like an old friend.
My back is in a mess, I know that and she knows that. We both believe that I suffered a whiplash injury when I fell on the snow and ice back in March and that has probably caused the majority of the problems I have now. Basically my muscles are very tight and tense both sides of my spine with the right side being the worst. My muscles are now guarding me against further injury by being tense and barely allowing me to move. She described it as walking around with a clenched fist permanently. After 30 minutes your hand is going to start aching after a few hours it’s going to be very uncomfortable. After months…well you get to the state I am in where everything hurts constantly.
Today’s session was very gentle before we can even start physiotherapy properly we have to get my inflammation levels down and the muscles to relax a little.I had to lie face down on a couch. My face had to go through this little hole so I could only see the floor although I think I kept my eyes closed for most of it. Now I said the session was gentle but in no way was it pain-free. My nerves are misfiring and have become so sensitized that even the lightest touch is causing me pain. So imagine having someone examining every joint in your back. Some joints were ok, they were sore but it was bearable, others had me levitating off the bed as I yelped and tried to squirm away from the light pressure being applied.
My physio tried to massage some of the muscle knots out but it was so painful she decided to use the ultrasound machine first. It’s so weird you just feel this probe going over your neck, sides and back of your neck and then when she massages them the muscles are much looser and nowhere near as painful. I know that the muscle knots need to be removed but it is a painful process, the feeling after they have gone is sublime as you feel freer and can move more easily.
By the end of the session I could feel the muscles were a lot looser and more relaxed than when I had started the session. However in the hours since the pain has started. It’s not horrific but I do feel battered and bruised. The weirdest thing is I have a lot of rib pain this evening. I am not sure if that’s because I spent a lot of the session lying on my front or if my back muscles are going spasm ( but a much milder version than normal).
I turned up to today’s appointment with my left arm burning with pins and needles in my hands. I left the session with both of those gone and they haven’t returned in the 4 hours since I have been home. To me that is a massive improvement as since July I haven’t had a day without constant pins and needles.
My physio says it’s going to be a few sessions of ultrasound and massage before I can start having more traditional physio. My next session is the 19th December.
I am absolutely shattered after today’s session, I had a busy day yesterday with getting my hair done and seeing a friend. If I could I would have stayed in bed all day. I am just hoping I can sleep tonight rather than what usually happens where the adrenaline starts to flow and I am tired but wired all night!