I am a big fan of upcycling and not replacing things purely because I don’t like them anymore. I like to repurpose things rather than throw things away. An old BBQ of ours was upcycled into a planter for some Ivy, rather than just being thrown away because we weren’t going to be using it anymore.



So as Mr Myasthenia Kid is on holiday for the next two weeks, we decided to embark on a project that was years overdue. Back in 2009 I bought myself all new bedroom furniture. However within 18 months to 2 years I managed to spill nail varnish remover not just over one of the bedside cabinets but both. The nail varnish remover ate into the dark stain and left them both looking awful. I was gutted, it had been a stupid accident x2 and since then I never have placed the nail varnish remover on the bedside cabinet. That was a little like shutting the stable door after the horse had bolted.



You can see how very sad the unit was looking. At this point the drawers had been removed to make sanding easier. Jamie ( hubby) used our little black and decker mouse electric sander to take off the stain from the top of the unit and also on the wood that separated the drawers. We wanted those to be stripped back to the natural pine. It was a very quick job and took no time at all really.



After sanding we had to give the unit a clean. We used a soft brush to remove the wood from where it had been sanded. Then we gave the whole thing a wash off with some hot soapy water to ensure it was clean and grease free. We then allowed the unit to dry outside in the sun. It was a very breezy day so it dried very quickly. This was going to be the first time we had used chalk paint. I had always been put off before simply due to the amount of work involved in prepping the item that was going to be painted. With most chalk paints you would have to sand the furniture down, then clean it off, then treat all the knots in the wood so that they don’t show through, then paint it and then finally wax the furniture to seal the paint. Just thinking about it exhausted me!


I follow a lot of accounts on Instagram that upcycle furniture and through them I heard about Frenchic Lazy range. All you had to do with this paint was ensure the furniture was clean – the paint did everything else, even the wax seal was built into this. As my bedside cabinets were such a state, I didn’t see what we had to lose they couldn’t look any worse than what they currently did. The paint does say that you only need one coat on the majority of items. However as this pine has been stained using a very dark wood stain, I knew it would need 2 coats.



Just to make it clear we haven’t received any money or gifts for telling you what paint we used. It is purely here to show you so that should you wish to give it a go you can. The paint was purchased with our own money.



We allowed the cabinet to dry outside as the weather was good and the breeze was helping it dry much more quickly than we had expected.  The second coat went on really easily and looked much better. We were in shock at how good the cabinet was looking.




We used a matt quick drying varnish on the stripped pine. It took around three coats to get the coverage we wanted but it was drying within 20 minutes so didn’t take long at all.


Here it is all finished, it is one of those paints that looks a different colour depending on the light. Outside in the photos it looks very blue, the inside photo of the drawer front it looks green – which is much more the colour that it is.



So now to crack on with the second unit.




One of the things that has always wound me up since becoming chronically sick due to a myriad of medical conditions is the complete lack of understanding from about the conditions or the way they can make me feel. Despite Fatigue being a symptom of PoTs (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) and EDS ( Ehlers Danlos Syndrome) medical professionals seem really surprised when you tell them you are knackered 100% of the time, no matter how well you slept. If the people who are supposed to get it, you know the experts fail to comprehend that you are dealing with levels of exhaustion they can only imagine, then what help is there for the non medical people in your life?


A few years ago I really lost my shit with someone who should have known better, they asked me how I was and I said I was really tired. Without thinking they said “yeah I am really tired too”.

“ No I mean I am really f**king tired, like I feel like I am walking around in a dream” I snapped.

“Yeah I get that when I don’t sleep well” They replied

I am not ashamed to admit that I really lost my temper as at this point I was in a cycle where I didn’t have more than 2 hours sleep a night for three nights and on the 4th I was sleeping 12-16 hours but waking up still feeling drained. I was hallucinating on the third day due to the level of tiredness I was experiencing. I had discussed this frequently with the person in question, they were not unaware of the difficulties I was experiencing on the sleep front. Yet even with all the information in front of them they couldn’t connect up the dots that going without sleep for nights on end didn’t just leave me tired, they left me barely functioning. It left me feeling as though a) this person had never actually listened to me when I was talking to them or b) that they didn’t believe me when I said how little sleep I was getting or c) they actually didn’t give a shit, I was always moaning I was tired. Any one of those scenarios is not one that leaves you feeling good about yourself.


After losing it with them and having to educate them in the difference between my tired – it doesn’t matter how much I sleep I am always feeling fatigued / wiped out and their tired, if they have a decent night’s sleep they feel refreshed, they never tried to claim that they felt tired in the same way I did again. Now don’t misinterpret me, I am not saying my tired is special or I am the only one in the world who feels like this. Ask most people with a chronic health condition / illness / disease and they will tell you the same, that sleep no longer leaves them feeling refreshed. Yet so many people in the medical profession will deny fatigue is caused by a person’s current illness / condition and will offer another label such as chronic fatigue syndrome – that’s a rant for another day!


I’ve noticed now the CSF leak is back how very few people actually understand it, I am talking close personal friends who witnessed how sick I was in 2016. So I am struggling to understand why they don’t remember that I have to lie down when the pain strikes etc. It is deeply frustrating but maybe I am expecting too much of them? Am I falling into the trap of believing that I am so important that they should remember this? I am also shocked by the number of people who have said things like

“ Oh that’s such a shame after you’d healed as well”.

Whilst I have said I have self healed I have also been careful to state it was to an extent, it had never gone away completely. I was able to spend many more hours upright but by the end of the day I was getting positional headaches that would only be relieved by lying down. I would also get photophobic at the end of the day, bright lights from screens including the TV would feel like they were burning a hole in the backs of my eyes. So whilst I was aware things had vastly improved for me, I was also aware that I was still leaking just at a much more slow rate.


I’ve also been really clear to those around me that it was highly likely that the symptoms of a full-blown leak would come back. The leak was probably caused by me having EDS,  as I have a weakness in the dura due to a previous lumbar puncture ( the protective covering around the spinal cord and brain) there would always be a weakness. So it’s frustrating when people question that the leak has returned – like the gp did last week. There is no mistaking a leak headache once you’ve had it. It is a pain like no other, it’s the only head pain that makes me clutch my head. I also get stupid comments from people like

“oh when I get a bad headache I soldier on because I have to. Not everyone can just go to bed because their head hurts”.

That’s when you know that person isn’t experiencing a CSF Leak headache because I will be blunt there is no fucking choice with a leak headache. You know when you see medical dramas and people collapse to the floor in pain, that’s what a leak headache is like. It hits you like you been attacked on the back of a head with a shovel. It makes you drop to your knees, if I could cry with the pain I would but when it strikes I am unable to do anything because it literally takes my breath away.


Somedays I am lucky and I can manage a few hours upright before I have to lie down. Other days I am upright for minutes and then I have to lie down. It is not a lifestyle choice it is the only way I can survive. It’s still not currently as bad as it was in 2016 and I am determined not to let it get that bad. Before I would push through until I was at the point of collapse. Now once the head pain starts I lie down, yes it’s frustrating but I’d rather lie down immediately than keep pushing to the point where I am bed bound for days on end. The only thing that works for a lot of people with a leak is lying flat however there are those who have leaked for so long that lying flat no longer reduces the pain that they are in.


Painkillers just don’t work on this headache, nothing I have ever taken has ever stopped the headache and that is the same for almost everyone with a leak. You get relief when lying flat when you have a leak because the fluid is no longer fighting gravity to be circulated around your spinal column and brain. By lying flat you increase the level of fluid surrounding the brain, which is what provides the pain relief.  Somedays within 30 minutes of lying flat the pain is gone other days it can take several hours and I am still left with a headache. However once upright again the headache will return. Obviously life spent flat on your back is not very fulfilling, its reduced the amount of sewing I can do as not only does the leak cause me pain this time it is affecting my vision. Its giving me quite a bit of double vision / blurred vision. I am having to use a magnifying glass and my reading glasses to be able to thread needles ( that is whilst using a needle threader both on my machine and when I hand sew). It makes things so much slower but I have to keep my hand in because without sewing I would be lost completely.


I have managed to make  a few bits, quite a bit was completed before the leak started and some of it has been completed in snatched moments when the levels of head pain are low / manageable. I have been able to finish items by hand whilst lying down so that’s a bonus. So here are some photos of what I have been making lately


I’ve been making a lot of baby bibs, some have been gifts and others have been paid to make.



Cushion cover made before the leak started – 

Travis bag for my Instagram Friend


I also made some voodoo dolls for a bit of a laugh, I never thought in a million years that people would want them but my (twisted) friends have gone crazy for them. Thankfully they all know how poorly I am at the moment and don’t expect me to rush to get things done. One of these is making its way to the USA as we speak. It’s my very first item that has gone to the USA.


So I still managing to do some sewing, it’s not as much as I would like but it’s enough to keep me sane at the moment.


Its f*****g back

I have always said that I couldn’t do 2016 ever again, in fact 2016 was such a nightmare that throughout 2017, when I referred to last year I was referring to 2015. For those of you who are new to the blog, I will give you a very brief recap. In 2016 I started getting what I thought were migraines, only these migraines disappeared within 30-60 minutes of lying down, only to reappear on standing or sitting. They were very painful, my eyes became incredibly sensitive to light. At the end of March, beginning of April I collapsed whilst taking a shower. My husband called the doctors surgery and asked for a home visit. Within the space of a few hours, I was diagnosed with a cerebral spinal fluid leak. I spent much of 2016 on my back and every 4 weeks having caffeine infusions at a hospital an hour away. 2016 was thoroughly miserable.


I was however one of the lucky ones, despite suffering some truly awful times in 2016 in the December of that year my leak healed. My symptoms never completely disappeared, I was left with tinnitus, every so often I would get occipital neuralgia pains in the back of my head, once in a blue moon on standing I would get a head pain but really life was pretty good. My leak symptoms had reduced to the point where I could be out of bed / sat up for hours rather than minutes. By the evenings initially I would get a positional headache which meant I had to lie flat but I had a large chunk of my life back. In the back of my mind I always knew there was a high probability that this could come back. I was very careful, twisting, bending basically anything that could blow the seal on my almost healed leak. I did everything I could to ensure it didn’t come back but sometimes it doesn’t matter how much you do, a set of circumstances are played out for which you have zero control.


On Sunday we (Mr Myasthenia Kid and I) went out for a drive. I needed to get out of the house as I was going stir crazy and the dogs needed a walk. I would sit and admire the view whilst Jay walked the mutts. On our way to the walk, on a single track road going no faster than about 25-30 mph due to twists and turns / few passing spaces, up ahead of us a dog ran out of the bushes at the side of the road. Jay did an emergency stop, we didn’t hit the dog (for which I am very grateful as that would have upset both of us a great deal). An ashen faced dog owner emerged from the bridle path, apologised, got the dog under control and we thought no more of it…..well not for about 10 minutes anyway,


Although we had been going at a low speed and stopped quickly it was enough for me to be thrown forward and back, despite having my seat belt on. For us bendies sudden movements like this can do quite a bit of damage. Whilst waiting for hubby to return with the dogs my back started to hurt and so did my head. The pain was at the base of my skull and top of my head. I knew immediately this was just like a leak headache, I panicked and sat there counting down the minutes until Jay got back to the car. When we got home I told Jay I needed to lie down as I had a headache. At this point I was hoping that it would settle, that I was just sore from the emergency stop. I put the TV on as I wanted something to distract me, but the light from the TV hurt my eyes. So I put my sunglasses on, in an already darkened room- blackout blind was drawn and all lights were off. After a few hours my head stopped hurting and I went downstairs. After a few hours my head started hurting again, so I had an early night. I hoped that tomorrow (Monday) it would be better.


On rising on Monday, my head hurt a little but it was nothing like the pain I had in 2016 the morning I collapsed. It hurt and was noticeable but there was stuff I wanted to do so I put it to the back of my mind. However by 2pm I couldn’t ignore the pain any longer, 2 expresso’s had done nothing. I went back to bed and again needed sunglasses to watch the TV and use my phone so that the light didn’t hurt my eyes. After lying down for 3 hours my head felt ok, it was a bit twingey but nothing major. I hoped that whatever it was causing the pain would settle. However when I messaged Jay that I needed some caffeine energy drinks, he asked straight away if the leak was back. Even though this was all done by text I knew the panic he was feeling because I was feeling it too.


By Tuesday, ten minutes after getting up I had to lie down again. I have to stress it is nowhere near the level of pain I was in before in 2016. I just know that it’s better to lie down than be a hero and wait for it to be sheer agony. Jay rang the doctors surgery at 9.30am, asking for a home visit. I know many of you will not have this available to you where you live. I am eternally grateful that I still have this service as there was no way I could have sat in a waiting room with a head wanting to explode. I lay in bed all morning, unwashed but it clean pjs. Greasy haired and looking like Casper the friendly ghost. My back was being uncooperative, it doesn’t like me being immobile. I moved into every position I could that kept my head as flat as possible. My back was playing hardball, it’s been sore since Sunday, which isn’t that surprising.


When I first got diagnosed with a CSF leak it was my old wonderful gp, who has moved away and left the practice. I was concerned as to who I was going to see today because I have found none of them to be as clued up or as willing to learn as he was. I was visited by my new gp who I have met on a couple of occasions. The appointment or whatever you call a home visit was fine. I did however have to convince the gp that this was not whiplash – which would be a perfectly acceptable diagnosis if I was displaying signs of whiplash – which I am not. My neck isn’t sore, I have altered sensation in the right side of my face a bit numb along with pins and needles and I have a headache that becomes more intense the longer I am upright. I feel ok lying down – although all screen use requires sunglasses as I have photophobia. I ended up saying to her, I would love this to be nothing more than a case of whiplash, that would be the perfect diagnosis because it would mean I won’t be spending day after day flat on my back. But I said this isn’t whiplash, this is a return of my leak. I told her I am treating it myself at the moment – my salt tablets were increased to ten a day last week to cope with the heat, that is the same dose I was on last year. I am drinking coffee and energy drinks like they are going out of fashion. I am hoping conservative non – invasive treatment will be enough to get me through this. I don’t want a repeat of 2016.


It became clear whilst talking to this doctor she wasn’t very clued up on spontaneous CSF leaks or EDS. It’s such a shame that ignorant doctors try to tell you that they know best without educating themselves first. She trotted out that blood patches don’t work………..I couldn’t be bothered to argue with her but they work for around 80-90% of people first time around. She didn’t believe that EDS alone could be the cause of a spontaneous leak……..I think my last copy of Fragile links that had about CSF leaks in it will be making its way to the surgery, along with all my CSF leak handouts from the UK charity the CSF Leak Association ( which you can find here https://www.csfleak.info/).


However I am happy that she is referring me back to the neurologist that treated me last time. How long I will have to wait before I get to see him is anyone’s guess. At the moment I am hoping that the pain levels stay as they are and don’t increase, as no pain relief helps the pain a leak causes. The only thing that helps is lying down…..which would be fine if my back wasn’t such a mess and hated lying down longer than a few hours at a stretch. I have made it downstairs late this afternoon and I am lying on the sofa to give myself a change in surfaces – to keep the old back happy!

My week


Over the last week I have been quite unwell, culminating in an emergency appointment at the doctors surgery yesterday. As is usual for me it wasn’t clear what exactly was wrong. I had severe abdominal pain in the lower right quadrant – I’m no stranger to abdominal pain, I have suffered with it for as long as I can remember. I can remember countless home visits by the gp where I was yet again diagnosed with a grumbling appendix.


I don’t think what I had yesterday was my appendix – its still sore today ( just not as bad). I think it is actually a cyst on my ovary, the doctors found one in 2015 but as it was only 2cm in size the protocol was not to monitor it. For years every few months I would get a pain in my lower right side. Loads of times I was convinced it was my appendix but after they found the cyst I realised that this made more sense. I started to track when I had the pain, it was always between the 20th to the 28th of each month and would last a few days. However over the last six months every two or so months the pain ramps up. I have a reasonably high pain threshold and it takes a lot to make me go to see the dr, let alone ring them up and demand an appointment. Normally I’m the patient running in the opposite direction.


Yesterday I couldn’t stand up straight when it was at its worst and when I was on the phone to the duty doctor I was curled up in a ball on the bed. I didn’t just have pain on the right side but the whole of my insides felt sore and were burning.  Thankfully the duty doctor agreed that I did need to be seen and set an appointment for an hour later. Thankfully Mr Myasthenia Kid was day off so he could drop me down there. I also had a pot to piss in ( ha ha ha ha!) my old gp used to give me a sample pot to use when I suspected I had a UTI. I forgot yesterday to ask for another one to replace it.


By the time I got to the doctors appointment the pain was already decreasing. I felt a bit of a fraud to be honest. Whilst I am typing the pain is ramping up again, I’ve taken pain killers so hopefully it will settle it again. I haven’t got a temperature and today I am not feeling unwell. I don’t feel right – I think all of us with a chronic illness or condition know when our bodies aren’t feeling right. Mine hasn’t felt right for a few weeks, initially I put it down to anxiety, stress, then the heat. But I know in my heart of hearts it’s more than that. It’s like the time I kept telling my old hospital consultant that I felt terribly unwell, I didn’t know what it was but he needed to listen to me. The arrogant twat didn’t, he sent me reluctantly for blood tests. Five days later I got a snotty letter telling me all my bloods were normal. Three days after that letter he had to backtrack because my prolactin levels were stupidly high. See I knew that something was wrong, never ignore your instinct about your health.


My urine was dipped and nothing was showing. I then had to get up on the couch and be examined. I knew it was coming, I made sure that front and back bottoms were scrupulously clean as I feared gloved fingers could be inserted into either orifice. Luckily I avoided that one! My stomach was palpated, as is usual the doctors always ask about the scar on my stomach. I’ve had a scar on my stomach since I was 3 and a bit. It’s been there so long that unless someone draws my attention to it I don’t remember it’s there. Now that will probably seem strange as it’s a horrific looking thing all thanks to EDS.


If I wasn’t such a lard-arse at the moment I may have taken a photo to show you. The scar runs from around an inch above my belly button to the top my pubic bone. It has healed very wide around an inch or more at the worst places and the skin is paper thin. I also have no sensation / feeling at all in my stomach about 2 inches either side of the scar as the nerves were cut ( I have had multiple surgeries). It’s caused me problems in the past due to burns. A few times I have ended up seeking hospital treatment as I have given myself a serious burn injury and not noticed until the skin has gone black. Like I said I have no feeling there.


The scar has also tethered at the end near my pubic bone. This means the scar tissue has adhered to the muscle underneath. It causes me no pain but means my stomach is divided into two parts due to the tethering.


I showed the doctor on my abdomen where the pain was, she felt it and I had to be peeled off the ceiling. At this point she told me that she wanted to ring the surgical team at the local hospital for advice as she felt it could be my appendix or it could be an ovarian cyst torsion ( meaning the ovary was twisting because of the cyst). Personally I thought with both I’d be in more pain than I was. I declined the call to the surgical team basically because I hate the local hospital. If I had been in severe pain, vomiting etc obviously I would have gone, I’m not an idiot. But I knew what would happen, lots of tests, no sleep, idiot medical professionals and sent home after being made to feel like a time waster. At this point all I wanted was my bed.


I made the doctor a solemn promise that should the pain intensify overnight that I would ring 999 and if it was bad tomorrow (now today) I’d ring them. She wasn’t totally happy but she knew I wasn’t going to hospital. I have to add here that even in that severe amount of pain my blood pressure reached the dizzying heights of 115/80 with a pulse of 95, oxygen 98%. When my blood pressure is normal ( doesn’t happen very often these days) when in pain I am normally in the 130/90 territory. So that just goes to show you how low my blood pressure has been of late.

Its not desperately low but I am 5ft 8 tall and not petite. Most doctors take my blood pressure and you can see that they are looking forward to giving me a lecture about my weight and high blood pressure. You can see the disappointment in their eyes when it comes back low! If my blood pressure is below around 115/80 I can be hideously symptomatic, every time I stand up I feel faint. This week I have been drinking expresso’s as it’s the only thing that gives my blood pressure a boost, even if it is only temporarily.

Around 2.30pm the doctor I saw yesterday rang to check how I was. That was really kind of her but I feel guilty for making her worry. It wasn’t a quick call either, she had a huge list of questions to ask to ensure I wasn’t brushing her off and telling her what I thought she wanted to hear. This is why I love the small practice I use as they have the time to care about their patients, it doesn’t feel like a conveyor belt. If you need longer than your allotted time then you get it and none of the other patients mind as they also know they won’t be rushed out the door.


My plan is when feeling slightly better that I will make a doctors appointment and ask to have this pain investigated. Personally I wouldn’t be surprised if my ovary is stuck to my appendix due to all the adhesions I have.  


I’ve been so rough over the last week or so I haven’t done very much in the way of sewing. I tried some hand sewing yesterday but couldn’t concentrate so gave up. Today I finished a Travis bag for one of my Instagram friends. Thankfully that was a quick bit of sewing as I had started it well over a week ago. I can’t put a photo up as she hasn’t received it yet. Jamie will be sending it tomorrow for me. The lovely lady and I have chatted a few times on IG and she asked me if she could send me one of her bags and give her an honest critique of her work, which is a bloody brave thing to do. The bag would be mine to keep. I couldn’t let her just send me a bag, as I knew she had a dog I thought I would send her a Travis bag.


This is the bag she sent me,


I absolutely love this bag. The quilting is amazing, she’s also used variegated thread so it goes dark and light which emphasises the quilting beautifully. I only wish that I could quilt as accurately as this!

Down the rabbit hole

What I have been holding my breath waiting for since the start of the year and all the bereavements we went through has finally happened. I knew at some point my health would be impacted and over the last 7 days it’s happened.


I’ve spent a few days in bed this week, purely because the chest pain on moving and the level of exhaustion was becoming unbearable. I really hate it when my health takes a nosedive as it can be months before I get back to where I was before. The same thing happened last year when we went through two bereavements in the space of 6 months. It took me from the May until the October to get anywhere near where I had been before.


I hate the feeling of helplessness and vulnerability this creates within me. I lose all motivation to do anything and just want to hide away from the world in the hope it will leave me alone. But it wont and I have to be a grown up and deal with the things that make me feel uncomfortable.


I am fed up with the professionals in my life telling me that my body’s  and minds response to this is normal, personally I’d prefer that they waved a magic wand and made it all go away. However I know it’s not going to happen so I just need to put my big girls pants on and get through this.


I am trying desperately hard not to fall down the rabbit hole and get seriously depressed. I won’t lie I am dealing with depression and anxiety at the moment. I have lost my sewjo, I have just been too exhausted and when I have tried to sew I’ve ended up with horrendous double vision. Sewing to me since October has been like breathing so to not be able to currently do it is frustrating. Hopefully it ( my sewjo ) will return soon and I will physically be able to do it.

Lifes a bit shit at the moment

Life’s a bit shit at the moment, I find quite often it goes like that. You can be on top of the world one day and thanking your lucky stars about how sweet things are and then the universe finds out and pulls the rug out from underneath you.


I am normally quite honest with my readers but this is stuff I can’t and won’t discuss for the time being. Rest assured hubby and I are fine as are our babies ( Mollie and Frankie). Its stuff outside us our little bubble that is impacting us. Its having a massive impact on my mental health as in my anxiety has spiralled out of control again, I feel constantly that I am on the verge of a panic attack if I am not 100% distracted.


I hate holding stuff back as I like to think above all else I am honest with you but it’s not my story or my life. The people in my bigger circle deserve their privacy and I will always respect that.


On top of this the heat has suddenly got to me. I can’t move without palpitations, I am feeling faint and generally exhausted. I would be very happy for a few cooler days just to give my body a rest and get things on a more even keel.


Due to everything that is going on at the moment not a lot of sewing has taken place. I have lost a bit of my sewjo, I have managed to get three bags started for friends and hopefully they will be completed this week. I just need the space and time to be able to do this, thankfully they are all very understanding and know that I can’t work to tight deadlines as I never know when my health will let me down. The mind is willing the body says nah!


I have decided to name my little dog walking pouches The Travis Bag,  after our first Weimaraner, who brought such love and joy to our lives. He loved his walks so I think it’s apt that these bags are named after him.


CBD Life product review

As you know I rarely do product reviews due to the fact I think many bloggers don’t inform their readers that they are being paid to promote products. I receive no free products or money when I do a review. The products ( and there have been only a handful in the 10 years I have been blogging) I have reviewed have always been purchased by me and today the product I will be talking about was bought by me and I have no links to the company, nor have I received any money / financial incentive for this product review.


I follow quite a few chronically ill bloggers on various social media platforms. I pay close attention to those that have EDS because quite often they will tell you something about a product be it a brace, crutches or pain relief that you didn’t know. I was very interested when one of them said that she had been using the CBDLife products – their website can be found here  with good results. https://Cbdlifeuk.com/cbd-products/


I have tried cannabis oil before ( the legal stuff before anyone gets animated) but it did nothing for me other than taste absolutely foul. I had the stuff you had to drop under your tongue from a well-known national health food store It was disgusting stuff green and slimy. I think I managed to take it for a few days before I gave up. I was having to eat a teaspoon of sugar to get the grease and taste out of my mouth. From that bad experience I wrote off cannabis oil as a mad fad and nothing more. Until a friend of mine started talking about her experience of using products from CBDLife.


After being in excruciating pain for a few days and ever-increasing amounts of morphine not touching it I decided to take the plunge. If it didn’t work it was an expensive mistake but at this point anything was worth a go. I decided to choose the vaping method, which meant I would have to taste the stuff. Plus the blurb on the website says that the vape gets it into your system much quicker than any other route. I was a little worried about the vape as those of you who have followed my blog for a while will know I gave up smoking on 6th August 2017. I used a vape initially to help me quit for the first three weeks and then stopped using that. I haven’t smoked since. I was worried that the vape may trigger the desire to smoke but thankfully it hasn’t.


My vape arrived the day after I ordered it which is fab customer service. The only downside with the site, I feel is that you can only pay by credit card, bank transfer or bitcoin. I ended up paying by credit card as I felt I had a bit more protection. My vape arrived in this snazzy little case



Inside the case you have the cartridge containing cannabis oil, a USB connector to charge the vape and the vape part.



It all goes together very easily, it just simply screws together.



Now as I said earlier I had a shit experience with cannabis oil in the past and it did nothing for me. This vape contains a much stronger cannabis oil, as you can see from the sites blurb




I started using it as soon as it arrived. Initially the vape made me cough my guts up! I had the same issue when I stopped smoking and started using a vape. However with a couple of goes I got the hang of it. Now just to make this clear this cannabis oil is the completely legal stuff in the UK. I don’t get high or giggly or hungry taking it. Saturday night was the first time I noticed a difference, I slept the whole night through. That hasn’t happened in years, at least 10 years. No waking up in a blind panic, no waking up in pain. That really threw me and I just assumed it was a fluke.


However a few days later after using the vape 3 to 5 times a day, I realised that I hadn’t touched my oramorph ( liquid morphine) at all. I had a brand new bottle of it in my medicine cabinet and just hadn’t opened it. Now in all the time I have been taking oramorph that has never happened. Some days I am taking it every 4 hours to attempt to get my pain under control. I was in shock.


I was also sleeping all the way through the night and I was feeling much less anxious than I normally would. As I said earlier I haven’t slept through the night in years, it just never happens it doesn’t matter how tired I am, I will wake up between midnight / 1am and then I am awake until 3am / 4am. I have been like this for years no matter what medication the doctors give me to help me sleep.


I have been so impressed by the results of using the vape that I have dropped my slow release morphine at night from 30mg to 20mg. Again in all the years I have been taking morphine the dosage has only ever gone up never down.


During the last two weeks I have barely had to use a hot water bottle for back pain. I have had one bad day ( day 9) where I ended up using oramorph twice as my back was playing up and I also had some bowel adhesion pain.


I saw my gp last week when I was five days in using the vape and she was amazed at what I was telling her. I said this maybe the placebo effect but like she said who cares what it is if you are in so much less pain that you are able to reduce your morphine dosage. And do you know what she is right.

The type of pain I suffer from is muscle spasms, nerve pain, joint pain, basically every type of pain. It hasn’t got rid of my pain completely but then nothing ever has but it has helped massively with muscle spasms – which had me in agony every night. Even my feet have stopped going into spasm and that has never happened.


Overall I am incredibly impressed with this product, so much so that I bought an extra cartridge for it to ensure that I don’t run out….ever. If you suffer a great deal of pain / chronic pain it is certainly something to think about.

Quick list of improvements

Sleeping through the night for the first time in years

Not waking up in pain

Only needed to use a hot water bottle twice in last two weeks for back pain

Reduced my night time dosage of morphine by 10mg

Have used oramorph twice in just under 14 days

Muscle spasms have stopped (feet and back did it daily)

Less anxious

Feel calmer and happier