Again I have been absent for quite a while. Unfortunately my health is on the slide and I have basically hardly been out of bed either through pain or through pre-syncope episodes. (pre-syncope medical term for starting to faint or feeling faint and not actually fainting).

 After a great deal of discussion hubs and I have decided that its time for me to contact the hospital Pots Dr as things aren’t getting any better and are in fact much worse than they have been for a long time. What he will actually be able to do is debatable but I can’t manage like this. Even standing for a minute or so is sending me into the spins. When I have been standing I am walking around like a drunk as I am so dizzy. I don’t know whether the chest infection has sparked this off or its just one of those things.

Even sitting here typing is making my head feel very strange, it feels like its moving to the left! How bizarre.

On top of all this I am also suffering with a bad HS flare which has been extremely painful. I currently have two abscesses on the go. One is actually healing so is less painful but I developed a new one yesterday and the process of sitting down is making me scream out loud! I can’t wait for it to pop to get some relief. It sounds disgusting and it is, but the relief when they pop is unbelievable.

Most of my days lately have been spent in bed watching DVD box sets or  listening to the radio. I listen to the radio once my vision starts to become double. It can be frustrating but I try and rise above it.

A friend asked me how do you manage to keep yourself in good spirits, to be honest I have no idea. At the moment I am angry and just feel like I can’t let this beat me. I haven’t had any why me days in the approx six week period when this downward spiral started. I am luckier than most people, I don’t have kids so I don’t have to force myself to get up and do things to look after them. I don’t have the worry about working as I haven’t worked since 2008 and to this day I can’t work out how I managed to keep going for so long with virtually zero support from the company. I can just be me and if it means being in bed all day so be it. I also have fantastic friends that text, visit or call which keeps me sane.

Over the last 6 weeks I have neglected my Internet friends for which I am sorry but I am hoping you will understand.

Peace and love xx