I am sorry that it seems like it has been months since I have written a proper blog post. At the moment I just have lost my ability to put pen to paper, there is nothing currently firing me up, making me want to speak passionately about it. Other than sewing, nothing (other than hubby and my dogs, friends) brings me a great deal of joy. It’s understandable you don’t experience that amount of bereavements in such a short amount of time and escape unscathed. So I am trying not to be too hard on myself and just produce what I can, so that you my loyal readers, some of you who have been around for the last ten years don’t lose faith.
At the moment I have been sewing like a woman possessed. It is the only thing that I can lose myself in 100% is sewing. I usually start with the radio on but at some point just zone out and no longer hear it. I live for sewing at the moment it is all consuming. Even my Emma Bridgewater collecting has started to take a back seat as I am so focused on sewing.
I have made quite a few bits over the last week, unfortunately some of them are gifts for people who may read my blog so I can’t post the photos. I will post what I can though!
Last week I forgot to post this photo of my spring wreath that I made.
I also started my first ever quilt. I am using a kit which is called quilt as you go. So each block is built up individually. Once all the blocks have been made you sash them together and then bind the edges.
Hot water bottle cover, which is a gift for someone I know doesn’t read my blog or do much online!
Quilted mat for sewing machine to sit on
It’s been quite a busy week sewing wise. Today I am having a non sewing day as my hands have swollen up making it quite painful to bend my fingers. A day of rest will hopefully sort it all out.
My writing mojo is currently MIA, on friday I found out that a lad I went to school with and kept in contact with on social media passed away aged just 44. Leaving behind his wife and daughter whom he adored.
This just broke me, Friday into Saturday I barely slept. I spoke to a good friend overnight via social media and was sobbing for most of the night. I also had irrationally decided that my sewing machine was a piece of crap and that I would have to buy a new one, sending the old one back. It’s funny how grief, insomnia and emotional exhaustion will leave you exhausted and utterly irrational.
There is nothing wrong with my sewing machine, I have had some issues with it as I had been using the wrong size bobbins. On Friday my new bobbins arrived and the machine was running better. I told myself on Saturday morning if it didn’t run ok when I gave it a quick go, then I would be contacting the company that sold it to me and asking for a refund. Of course ever since the new bobbins have been here its been running beautifully.
However at around 7.30am I had a complete meltdown. Jay got really worried that I was heading for a bout of depression. Thankfully despite everything that life has thrown at me since losing Willow in December, I was just expressing my grief. My friend passing away, who I had known since I was 11 and was a month older than me, was just a massive shock. I had a bloody good cry and then pulled myself together as at 8.30am a decorator was coming to paint our stairwell. I didn’t think he’d want me blubbing every five minutes.
As the lounge was going to be stinking of paint I decided to take the plunge and make myself my first piece of clothing from some jersey material I had bought in the Christmas sales. I had to make the pattern by working out how my favourite top was constructed. It took me all of Saturday to make the pattern, cut the fabric and then sew the body and two arms. On Sunday I hemmed the body and inserted the arms. Finally I did the neck, I am so pleased with it, purely because I made it. Yes there are mistakes in it and it will probably never be worn outside the house but I made it. It is my design loosely based on another top.
Today I have made a little travel sewing kit tidy. It’s been a nightmare and harder than making the top as the instructions were diabolical. Its taken me most of the day, leaving me with my back in spasm but I got to use four different feet on my sewing machine.
The day this blog post is published I will be attending the funeral of my friend Pam. I think half the reason I have kept myself so busy this week is because I am dreading this day. Saying goodbye to her will break my heart. Sleep tight Pam x
Sorry this will just be a quick post this week. I have been waiting for inspiration to strike but it must’ve taken a holiday and forgotten to tell me. I have no clue what to write about, so I will just give you a quick rundown of what has been going on here at The Myasthenia Kid HQ over the last week or so.
Mr Myasthenia kid was on holiday last week so we cracked on with doing the decorating. The lounge has needed re-done for a while and we have been putting it off and putting it off. The paint has been sat in my bedroom for about two months but we just didn’t have the energy or motivation to do it. The last week was Jay’s last week of holiday until April. Our new sofas arrive next month and I really didn’t want to be decorating around two new sofas. I will be honest it nearly killed the pair of us. It was divided over 4 days as not only did we paint the lounge but we also did the little hallway upstairs. I only do the small bits I can manage but my back, hands and wrists have been playing up ever since.
I also upgraded my sewing machine last week, I had a cheap Lidl one which was great when I first started but it was starting to limit what I was able to do. Button holes were a nightmare a 5 step process, this machine is just choose which one of the nine buttonhole designs you want and off you go. I will admit it is taking some getting used to but I love the top loading bobbin and the needle threader so much already. I can set up my machine in no time at all. I have been a little frightened of it if I am honest, so much so Jay practically forced me onto it today, saying “you’ll never feel confident with it if you don’t use it” which is very true. I had been avoiding using it (as much as I had used the previous machine). Now I hope to sort myself out and get to grips with it .
Here are a few bits that I have made over the last few weeks.
Bag – buttonholes done on my new machine
I also made these Harry the Hares
I have made quite a few hot water bottle covers
Mollie snuggling up with one I made for myself
Just when you begin to think that life couldn’t get any tougher and you finally feel like you can take a breath again, the universe laughs and tosses you another curve ball. I wrote a while back that two people in my life were battling terminal illnesses, both of them had lung cancer. And whilst I knew what the inevitable outcome would be, that at some point I would face the rest of my life without them in it, nothing can actually prepare you for the day it happens.
As regular readers of my blog will know my Grandmother passed away on January 6th this year. Then on Friday 26th January I was awoken with the news I had been waiting for all night. That my dear friend of over 20 years had passed away. In the last 12 months I have been through 5 bereavements, in the past 6 weeks three of them occurred. To say I am at breaking point is an understatement.
Losing Pam, is like losing a close member of my family. We have in those 20 years been neighbours twice, when I lived at my flat she lived on the floor below. When I was being shown around the house I am currently in, Pam leaned out of the back bedroom window stating house prices would drop should we decide to move in. When we came to view this house we had no idea that Pam lived next door, as our close friendship didn’t really develop until 2007 onwards, although we had always been friends.
To sum Pam up in a few words is impossible, when they made her they smashed up the mould, pulverised its pieces and spread them all over the globe purely because the universe knew there was only room in the world for one Pam. She was hysterically funny, whether she meant to be or not. She had excellent comic timing and I have lost count over the years how many times she made me choke on my tea or got me to snort it out of my nose. She would do anything for anybody nothing was too much trouble. She has helped me and Jay out of many scrapes at the drop of a hat. She was like that with everyone she knew.
I don’t think Pam every truly realised how many people loved her. I know she found it hard to comprehend why all these different people were sending her flowers, gifts and coming to visit her. She told me she felt truly blessed and been particularly touched by a lady who she had been to school with who had tracked her down after numerous years
Pam knew people from all walks of life, if you ever went out with her you could guarantee she would know someone. It always used to make me laugh that when I had tradesmen at the house to fix stuff, I would find them outside chatting to Pam, she either knew them or knew their mums. It was crazy the amount of people she knew. So I have a feeling when we say our final goodbyes the place is going to be filled to the rafters with those who loved you. So many people are hurting right now, none more so than her family. I am so grateful to have known you and to have had you in my life for the last 20 years.