Just for Fun

This is tongue in cheek and just a bit of fun. I am typing this whilst waiting for a home visit from a GP.

Things that make you realise you are sick:

You Know Your Sick When …….

1. Your mum can tell what sort of day you are going to have by the tone of your voice when you ring her in the morning.

2. You only shave your legs / armpits for hospital or Dr appointments.

3. You need a carrier bag to take you medications anywhere with you.

4. When your husband rugby tackles you to the ground as he knows by your glassy eyed stare that you are about to faint.

5. When your husband rings the GP practice and asks for a home visit and the Dr’s receptionist doesn’t bat an eyelid.

6. When the pharmacy staff no longer ask to see your medical exemption card for free prescriptions.

7. When the dog is puking on your bed at 1am and you shove your hands under his mouth to catch it rather than let it go on the sheets, as the thought of having to change the bed makes you cry.

8. When the Consultants on the Emergency Medical Unit at the local hospital know your name and pop by to say hello!

9. When the paramedics turn up and know your name!

10. When you know your pulse rate without measuring it.

11. When you clean your teeth six times in three hours as you don’t remember doing it the first time.

12. When friends and family know what you mean despite the fact you have said the wrong word….again. For example I called a tractor a helicopter recently.

13. When market researchers phone you and you are more than happy to take part in their short survey as its the only human contact you have had all day.

14. You regularly check out the disability aids on Amazon to see what cool new gadgets they have.

15. You own a pulse oximeter and a blood pressure cuff.

16. You are a member of more than one health forum.

17. You become irrationally pissed off with people when they moan they have a cold.

18. You do as much as you can to self treat rather than call the Dr again.

19. You have an unlimited amount of carrier bags in the car so you can puke discreetly.

20. Your standard item of clothing becomes sweat pants or PJ bottoms.

21. When you haven’t washed your hair for four days, let alone put a comb through it and you don’t care!

22. When you read articles in the newspapers warning you about the levels of salt in food and actively go out and buy them.

23. When you tell the Dr what your care plan should be and they agree with you.

24. When your friends and family seek your advice on medical matters.

25. When you know the complete programming schedule of Radio 4 Extra.

26. You no longer criticise your husbands feeble attempts at housework because you are just so grateful he’s done it.

27. When a chemical toilet in your kitchen doesn’t disgust you.

28. You read a book and 3 hours after you have finished it you can’t remember what it was about and who the main characters were, so you read it again still none the wiser.

29. When you could quite easily turn in for the night at 1600 hrs.

30. When a Russian Doll hot water bottle becomes your favourite gift of all time.

Do you have any of your own that you could add to this list? I was only going to write ten and it was amazing how many came to me.

2 thoughts on “Just for Fun

  1. Hi Rachel .. number 7 sounds disgusting – especially as you're sick in the first place .. can't say I want to think about things like that ..

    .. let's change the subject to chocolate biscuit cake .. I don't do recipes!! .. so:

    one packet chocolate (I prefer dark – but either) digestives – chill – so won't go mushy when you're crushing ..

    put in plastic bag … crush – bash – etc so smoothish .. I don't like them too smooth ..

    – melt some unsalted, but I use salted too, butter … not sure .. try 4 oz .. (half a brick)

    add some golden syrup .. depending on sweetness – two tablespoons .. melt …

    Mix all ingredients together – don't want to be too buttery, but bound well –

    put in tin/dish .. leave to set – cut into squares, or pieces (while still softish)

    and cool … slice up and serve ..

    I sometimes add chopped cherries (these are good), or dates (not often) .. or some decent dried fruits – but not often ..

    Give it a go .. and I'm sure it'll work .. you can still eat it!!

    Hope the home visit has helped ..

    Cheers and thanks for coming over .. Hilary


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