hospital

Back pain update

/ RachelMorrisMcGeethemyastheniakid / Leave a comment

The back pain I had last week was awful. I would wake up thinking I was ok and then within minutes know I was in for another day of unrelenting pain. No position was comfortable. lying hurt, walking hurt, sitting hurt . I had to stop what I was doing and just spend time alternating between resting and keeping mobile so my back didn’t get worse by seizing up.  I hate it when my back pain gets that bad because either I am in too much pain to be able to concentrate on anything or I physically can’t manage to do the things that bring me joy, like my sewing, embroidery and now crochet. It also means projects that I had planned had to be paused. 

I really don’t like pausing projects as the slightest thing will stress me out these days. I am very easy to stress out when it comes to be crafting. Usually my crafting projects are presents. I like to have them made well ahead of schedule, by not being able to do anything means the deadlines are racing towards me. That then makes me stressed and tense, which isn’t great when your back is bad. 

So without typing it or saying it out loud as I have known from previous experiences this tends to jinx me, lets just say things are much better. I am being careful, not twisting in only an EDS body can contort, moving more slowly and just being aware of staying in one position for too long. Last week seemed to whizz by in a drug induced haze, this week I feel present and able to do what I want to do. 

Unfortunately due to pain I can’t stand in one spot for longer than about 30 seconds without the pain in my back becoming unbearable. The only way I can describe it is if my back is collapsing down on itself. The pain is right at the base of my spine. Years ago when standing wasn’t a problem due to PoTS, I would have to hop from foot to foot as standing in one place would trigger back pain. I am working on my core muscles again now that the pain has settled. For crafting we have what we term the “camping table” even though we don’t go camping, if I need extra space then that table is brought out and it means I can sit comfortably and get any jobs that would normally require me to stand done safely sat down.

I am still limited presently with the amount of time I can spend doing things as due to the car accident back in August, I am left with crippling neck pain and headaches, whenever I am working with my head tilted down. It is the same with computer screens, mobile (cell) phones, books, magazine and working on my crochet. Anything that has my head tilted down has to be carefully managed so that I don’t cripple myself with pain later. This has been the most frustrating thing since the accident as I had managed to massively improve the amount of time I could work at my crafting ( embroidery / sewing / crochet) without causing myself pain.Now I am back to the bad old days of 15 minute bursts and having to ensure I stretch my shoulders and neck and move away from what I am doing. 

I am not receiving any treatment for the injury I sustained, I got told just after Christmas that my MRI scan was clear so orthopaedics don’t have any suggestions other than it will take up to two years for the situation to get better. In the meantime I still have a left arm that has pins and needles in it every day and a massive flare up of occipital neuralgia that I haven’t had since 2016 and I thought was behind me.

It is very easy to slip down the rabbit hole and get depressed about it all. I love sewing, embroidery and crochet. They are my creative outlet, they are the things that make me feel alive. From 2008 until 2017 I barely existed, suddenly when I found sewing I felt alive. I was incredibly lucky that when my Gran passed away I was left a small inheritance which allowed me to buy the things I wanted to be able to lean how to sew, make quilts, machine embroidery etc. Now with sustaining the injury in the car crash it can sometimes feel like all those things are slipping away from me. 

The Covid situation certainly hasn’t helped things, I have had to contact my doctors so many times over the last 12 months about various issues that I haven’t been able to manage myself. I have also managed to develop psoriasis ( well I think I have actually had it years it has just got much worse this year) my immune system is taking a battering. The last month or so I have had a really angry bit of skin just below my bottom lip on the right side. I presumed it was eczema, I get that when stressed. For the last month I have been treating it, last week I decided to try a different direction and ordered some cold sore cream. Let me just state here and now, it didn’t tingle, hurt, blister etc etc however after 48 hours of religiously applying the cream it has almost gone. Whatever the hell it was, it certainly didn’t resemble a cold sore has almost disappeared. It was about 2cm long and 1cm wide. So not small and very noticeable, I have been very grateful for the fact we are still wearing masks in public places! 

Whilst I am off in tangent land I will let you know that my blood tests have come back all ok so I have now been referred to Neurology- you know my favourite department for my possible focal dystonia. They were trying to tell me it was the mestinon causing my foot problems and then it was an electrolyte imbalance. I got sent a small novel by the local hospital. It was quite ridiculous as basically the letter tells me that they will either a) send my gp a treatment plan to follow or b) they will see me for either an appointment or tests or both. I then received a small woodlands worth of paper all about Covid, wearing a mask in hospital etc. Which is bloody wasteful and totally inappropriate for the letter I received. I also got travel directions – for a letter that just says they are assessing my referral. Now they look after a large region, how much money, paper and time have they wasted by sending out these small forests to people who it doesn’t actually apply to? Ok rant over.

Good news though that my CA125 is obviously ok, I was told any issues they would contact me. Plus the fact that I have the letter from the hospital saying that they are looking at my referral meant there wasn’t an easy fix for the gp. 

So for the moment back wise ( and we are talking the whole of my spine ) I am being very careful not to upset it and end up back where I was last week, where I was close to tears on numerous occasions.

A bit of a head scratcher

/ RachelMorrisMcGeethemyastheniakid / 4 Comments

Those of you who have been reading my blog right from the start will be well versed in my journey with attempting to get a diagnosis of Myasthenia Gravis, I was diagnosed with it in 2007, that diagnosis was removed in 2009. Since then on a couple of occasions I have had major issues with Ptosis and generalised muscle weakness and ended up being tested all over again. On every occasion it has  come back negative. So you could have knocked me down with a feather ( twice)  today when Myasthenia Gravis was mentioned.

I gave up long ago trying to find answers for why there are days I can’t take a deep breath . Why I struggle with repetitive movements and then find myself unable to move the affected limb. Why I am always battling this more in the summer than the winter. It seemed every time I mentioned Myasthenia Gravis I was laughed at by the medical profession and given another BS diagnosis. Now it isn’t that I want this condition, I could really do without daily ptosis unilaterally or bilaterally. I could do without the fact that all the time my mind is willing to do stuff but my body frequently lets me down and I am unable to do stuff because my body simply won’t move .

The last time I was investigated for it in either 2017-2018, I was told I had idiopathic hemifacial spasms. Which my then PoTS consultant laughed his head off at as it was very clear that the right side of my face wasn’t in spasm but was paralysed. In fact evry medic who has seen the photo’s has said that isn’t a facial spasm, basically the whole right side of my face droops making me look like i have had a stroke. From then on my PoTS wrote in my medical letters that I had a neurological disorder as yet undiagnosed. No more mention of MG. 

I left the diagnosis alone, there was nothing to be gained by continually going on about a diagnosis that all tests repeatedly kept saying I didn’t have. It made me look like I was only interested in getting that diagnosis and that I was “making” my symptoms up. I didn’t want to be considered a faker / malingerer / sufferer of somatization disorder. So I just shut up about it. Mentioning MG compromised my medical care, so I learned it wasn’t a battle worth fighting anymore. Despite the fact that I was always positive on the icepack test, following a doctors finger with my eyes causing nystagmus and a sustained upwards gaze causing ptosis. Because some doctors believed I was faking all those symptoms. To keep going on about it made me look like I was mentally ill. Sometimes you just have to let shit go and trust at some point no matter how long it takes someone believes you.

This morning I had to attend the major hospital near me, for the ongoing issues with my neck. The doctor was chatting to me and said about my medical history so I took him through EDS and the severe autonomic nervous system dysfunction. He then had a look at his screen and said “well what about your Myasthenia Gravis? That is quite serious”. If I hadn’t been wearing my migralense glasses and a face mask, he might have seen the look of shock on my face. I was for a second temporarily stunned into silence. I said answering honestly and in the least sarcastic way I could, “well the MG thing has been going on for years and the jury is still out on whether or not I have it, I take mestinon to help treat my PoTS and it also takes care of the ptosis and muscle weakness so I just get on with it.”. Nothing more was said.

He then went through my prescription medications and I said to him, “oh I also have home oxygen”. He asked me why I have that, so I replied ” I can desaturate very quickly sometimes or struggle to breathe, now that could be because of the undiagnosed Myasthenia Gravis or it could be the issues with my autonomic nervous system or a combination of both.” Again my reply was noted and nothing more said. I have had my oxygen machine for at least 10 years now. No one has ever attempted to remove it even though I have no one overseeing my care with it. 

As part of my physical exam the doctor did some neurological tests. I had to follow his finger with my eyes. Now not deliberately I promise you ( I woke up with a horrific migraine this morning and almost cancelled the hospital appointment ) I forgot to take my mid morning dose of mestinon, so I was feeling shit because my blood pressure was plummeting and sumatriptan was making me feel fatigued.  He made me follow his finger, well I must have looked bizarre as my eyes just couldn’t keep up. I got nystagmus and my eyes were rolling around in my head. I knew he was surprised as he did the same movement several times, each time it produced the same result. It surprised me if I am honest.

 I know that nystagmus during the neurological exam can be an indicator of MG. Obviously years ago I did lots of research on the subject to educate myself as I had never heard of MG when I was originally diagnosed with it. But I still wasn’t expecting it to happen when I had to follow this doctor’s finger. For so long I have ignored the symptoms I have and blamed them on other things or even accused myself of putting them on that when they happen like that it still has the ability to surprise me.

I never said anything at the hospital. Again I have learned it is better to keep your mouth shut and act like a dumb blonde than to look like you have spent hours on the internet researching stuff. It doesn’t do you any favours and again “appearing to know more than I should” has been held against me previously so I stopped doing it. There was nothing to gain from having the knowledge if the doctors assumed that you were faking your symptoms to get a diagnosis – which I wasn’t let me be clear. If I had any control over my life I would not have been ill health retired in 2008 giving up a career I loved, losing my financial independence, losing my ability to walk on Woodbury common, being socially isolated for long stretches. There was nothing to gain by me becoming sick and just so much to lose.

The second mention of Myasthenia Gravis came this afternoon. I got a summons for Jury service this week, which is a physical impossibility for me. I contacted my doctors surgery expecting them to do me a fit note / medical certificate. Instead they have printed off my Patient Summary Hospital Print out, which lists all my current prescription medications and my medical conditions. On the top line of the section marked Active Major Problems is Myasthenia  Gravis. It has the word probable alongside it but it hasn’t been updated since 2011 but that is at least a year after the diagnosis was removed. I also changed gp surgeries in 2011 so I am confused that if it is a clerical error why it has simply been repeated when they would have had that information in front of them saying that diagnosis had been removed in either 2010 or 2009. The diagnosis was poo pooed again in either 2017 or 2018. So why is it on this patient summary and being used by the gp practice and the hospital?

But it would also explain why the doctor at the hospital was talking about this as I am guessing this information would have been attached to my referral. It has me scratching my head. Does it mean they think I have a probable diagnosis of MG? Is it a clerical error? Because if it is there have been multiple opportunities to correct this. So many hospital letters etc all saying it isn’t MG. I am sat here just thinking WTF?

I don’t want to open up a can of worms by asking what that diagnosis is doing there as I have previously suffered serious breathing problems and was blue lighted to hospital where it was suspected that I was on the verge of or maybe having a myasthenic crisis. To have that removed and then suffer from major breathing difficulties again would be just my luck and the hospital writing it off as a panic attack or anxiety could be dangerous.

It is a bizarre place to be when someone brings up a diagnosis that you long ago thought was off your records. It is strange what is on these records as on the Majory Inactive side are a Diagnostic endoscopic examination of Right Knee joint surgery form 1988 – a life time ago!  Acute Pyelonephritis ( kidney infection) in 1999 ( I actually think that date is wrong as it was 2009 I was in hospital with that).  Laparotomy and division of band adhesion 8th July 1998. Again that one feels like a life time ago and it was an utterly hideous experience and very, very painful.

So I am sat here scratching my head again, do I say something and get a couple of errors corrected when I haven’t had access to all my notes and have no idea what information those entries have been based on or do I just leave it ? I just am clueless as to what to do.