The Dentist

It’s 13.20pm on Tuesday 17th October and I am here stressing to high heaven because at 14.15pm I will be in the dentist’s chair. Like every single person I know with EDS, I hate the dentist. I am only going today so that I don’t get kicked off the list and end up without a dentist. The last time I was there it was a nightmare, which you can read about here in my post Blind Panic .  I am still really angry that he didn’t listen when I told him local anesthetic wears off on me very quickly. He obviously thought he knew better. I ended up chickening out of the hygienists appointment because I was having panic attacks a week before it was due. So today could be very interesting.

 

A few months ago one of my back teeth disintegrated when I was eating some chocolate. I wouldn’t have minded but I was nibbling at it with my front teeth when the back molar (upper right 7 I found out this afternoon) decided to just fall apart. I know the dentist will want to fuck about with this tooth, be it a crown etc but he will be told by me that I want it pulled if he wants to play with it. I don’t do root canals or anything other than a straightforward filling with my teeth. The reason behind this is I have a shockingly low pain threshold when it comes to my mouth. Anywhere else on the body I am an absolute trooper but I never get adequate pain relief when they are messing about with my teeth. At 43 I believe I am entitled to call the shots when it comes to my teeth.

 

I know some of the low pain threshold with my teeth is caused by the abject terror and stress a visit to the dentist causes me. Me and Dentists have never got on, probably because for a lot of my life EDS hadn’t been diagnosed, it didn’t seem to matter to the dentists treating me if there were tears rolling down my face and I was screaming whilst they were carrying out treatment. I was to be ignored because I’d had anesthetic, so I couldn’t possibly be feeling anything. The problem was I felt everything. Now the association is set in my  mind that whatever the dentist does will mean pain to me. My last dentist was brilliant, very patient and understood EDS. She had got me to the point of not being absolutely terrified, which was quite a step forward. Unfortunately she has left the NHS and now practices privately. I am hoping today that I will be able to find out where as I need to build my confidence back up and hopefully get her to have a word with the guy that is my dentist now. I am hopeful that due to me almost ripping the drill out of his hand last time that it was enough of a frightening experience for him as it was for me that he takes me seriously. But it’s been a long time since I went…………..deliberately.

 

There has been a lot going on here, decorating, a trip planned and me being much more unwell than usual. I had a very bad flare up of Hidradenitis Suppurativa which then had an impact on my hemifacial spasms (**sarcasm) no really it affected my MG like symptoms really badly, (I have been exhausted, very weak muscles and ptosis coming on within 2-3 hours of taking mestinon). I have been on mega doses of antibiotics trying to avoid any surgical intervention as this is the worst flare up I have ever had. I am still not out of the woods as the antibiotics are due to finish shortly and the abscesses although have reduced in size are still there. If I could get out of going to the dentist today (not due to fear) I would have as I am utterly exhausted again today.

 

I am going to have to go and sort myself out ready to leave. The time is rapidly approaching for my appointment. I will let you know how I got on when I get back.

 

* * *

 

The good news is I am still alive the bad news is I need a filling on the tooth that disintegrated. It was quite amusing as the dentist didn’t remember me, so I gave him a brief overview of our last appointment. Which he laughed and then checked the notes, saying  “oh my goodness yes, I don’t remember it but it’s all here!” . I explained to him again that I am an absolute wuss when it comes to dental work. I told him that I believed a lot of it was psychological due to years of painful dental treatment when I haven’t been believed when I have told the dentist I can feel whats going on. That I now have a deep anxiety about the dentist and that I had chickened out of going to the hygienist in March because I had started having nightmares two weeks before the appointment.

 

I still don’t think he 100%  appreciates how very difficult it is for me to attend appointments just due to the fear but he was so gentle today, a completely different bloke than last time. Not that he was rough last time but he had a different attitude. Half way through the appointment he said “You can’t have adrenaline in your injections can you?” to which I nodded as his fingers were in my mouth. He said “ I remember you now, you faint if you have the adrenaline” again a gurgle and a nod for a reply from me. Obviously there aren’t too many of us that actively request no adrenaline.

 

I have to go back the second week of November for my filling, which is fine by me. It gives me a chance to chill out a bit after this appointment. I am utterly drained of energy now. I was better this time on the lead up to the appointment probably because there is currently so much else going on, I couldn’t sit and focus on it. Of course in three weeks I will have to go through all the stress again knowing I am going to have to have a filling but that’s life.

 

On the way home Jay said “I just don’t get why you have such a low pain threshold at the dentist and why you get so anxious, you’ve had lumbar punctures and all sorts of horrid procedures done without adequate pain relief” I agreed but as I have said I think it is a lifetime of painful dental treatment that has left me like this. He knows how hard it is for me to go and was telling me how brave he thinks I am for going. If I could get away with not going I would but I can’t having had dental abscesses before I need to be on a NHS dentists list.

 

Being a grown up really sucks sometimes.

EDS how it affects me three years on

Last week as part of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome Awareness Month, I recycled a post I wrote in 2014. As with any illness / condition / disease when you look back you can see how things have changed. Some things may have improved and new symptoms may have reared their ugly heads. Ehlers Danlos Syndrome is no different, I sometimes think it’s like playing a slot machine each morning never knowing what the combination of joints giving me pain (and problems) will be that day.

 

I am still as bendy as I was at this point three years ago, although getting my thumb to touch my wrist isn’t as easy as it was before, my thumbs now seem to sublux (partially dislocate) or strain the ligaments on an almost daily basis. Who’d have thought something as simple as taking my trousers / underwear down would be enough to cause pain but it does. Looking back on the photo’s of my fingers it is clear that they are more flexible now than they were two years ago. Although some with EDS will stiffen up with age despite being 44 this year, I seem to be getting more lax. I wonder if by the time I am 80 I shall just be a floppy mess unable to move due to the collagen (the glue that holds us together and is what is faulty in EDS) just being stretched beyond belief.

 

I wrote at the time that my elbows are normal and as usual when I write anything about my condition, it’s like an open invitation for things to change dramatically. Doctors don’t seem to be able to agree on whether my elbows are hypermobile or not, to me they don’t seem to be but then it’s difficult to gauge what a normal range of motion is when you have been surrounded by anything other than the norm. My normal is growing up within a family that is hypermobile, so I never considered my flexibility to be anything other than that. My elbows can be very sore first thing in the morning, as I am asleep when I am doing the damage I can only assume that I am over extending the joint. It makes my elbows really ache and feel clicky, I can feel tendons and ligaments rub over the bones.

 

My spine is still the area of my body that causes me the main problems. I am currently waiting for a spinal x-ray to try to find out what’s going on at L5-S1 level. This pain is very different from my “normal” EDS pain, it hurts when I lie down or sit down and eases off when I am moving. In the mornings I am very stiff and look like a hunched over old lady. After a few hours it eases up but the minute I go to bed the pain starts up again. I have been taking a NSAID and it’s really helping which is the first time a nsaid has ever helped. I am hoping the x-ray shows something as it’s hard going with it affecting my sleep.

 

My fingers are also causing a problem not with them being more lax than they have been previously but with them swelling, clicking and pain. Some mornings I can barely use my hands as they are so swollen. When they are bad the only thing I can do is just wait it out until the swelling starts to subside. My grip is also a lot weaker, so opening child-proof bottle tops is a nightmare, I am struggling with even normal bottle tops because I no longer have the strength of grip I had previously.

 

These are just some of the problems I face with EDS on a daily basis and I could never predict what was going to hurt not hurt the following day. It feels totally random and at times, the pay back for relatively undemanding activity totally disproportionate. I always laugh when medical professionals say we need to learn to pace ourselves as I never seem to have the same energy level on a consistent basis. I never know when I have done too much until hours later and the pain starts. If I paced myself I would never do anything for fear of causing pain or fatigue. Both of which are just a standard part of my day.

 

I was finally diagnosed with EDS when I was 37, my condition suddenly deteriorated in 2007, it took until 2011 to get some answers. Whilst it’s great to find out that no, I don’t have a low pain threshold, yes I can feel things after I have had a local anesthetic the problem now is that aches and pains get blamed on EDS rather than being investigated properly.

 

There also seems to be a blanket policy in many of the hospital trusts that unless a condition is life threatening, surgery (if needed to correct a problem) will not be performed. This is done under the guise of “first do no harm” and the worry of making things worse however unless you’ve lived with this condition you have no idea the levels of pain we can function at. I have bowel adhesions (fibrous bands of scar tissue that have wrapped themselves around my intestines), I had them surgically removed in 1998 (before the EDS diagnosis) because they were causing me to collapse due to the pain they caused on a regular basis. I still get awful periods of time with them, I have to be careful what I eat, so I can’t have raw vegetables as it triggers the pain, yet when I saw a surgeon a few years ago I was told unless my bowel becomes obstructed they won’t operate. I have heard similar stories from other people around the UK, that they have various problems that could be sorted out by surgery yet due to the EDS diagnosis they are told they can’t have the operation.

 

I was so pleased when I got the diagnosis as it finally explained all my weird symptoms but it’s a poison chalice. I have better pain medication but I am pretty much left on my own to deal with medical issues as they arise. Many in the medical profession believe that because there is no cure for EDS it means that there is no point trying to treat us. Now I have the diagnosis the level of help I get is severely limited.
There was a lot of drama recently within the EDS groups on-line as the diagnostic criteria had been changed. Many people diagnosed with Hypermobility EDS would now be classed as having joint hypermobility syndrome rather than Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Having checked the new criteria I would still be classed as HEDS and to be honest even before checking the new guidelines, I wasn’t that bothered. Regardless of the label most people with EDS or JHS will receive shit care, have their problems minimised or ignored and surgery that would be offered in normal circumstances declined. It would have been far better if the bodies that spent all this time and money on designing the new criteria actually focused their efforts on getting patients better care.