Ophthalmology

I wrote a while ago about a rather upsetting visit to the gp’s surgery, which you can read about here. I haven’t updated you all since through my blog, if you follow me on The Myasthenia Kid Facebook page then you will know about this. So I apologise for going over old ground in the next few paragraphs but after that it’s all new, I promise.

So to provide you with some context back in July I saw a trainee gp or as I like to call them a 12 year old with attitude. They were terribly dismissive of my dry eyes, they looked at the Clinical Commissioning Groups dry eye pathway – so what drugs they are “allowed” to prescribe. They tried to palm me off with stuff that came under mild dry eyes and this was after I had the first corneal abrasion. So I had to point out that a corneal abrasion didn’t suggest a mild dry eye problem. So I was given more day time drops but no help at all for the night time ointment that I am allergic to. I got a shoulder shrug and was shoved out the door. Just a quick update though finally after waiting since July I now have an appointment for the Ultrasound that they were supposed to request……for the 10th October! Glad it is nothing serious eh?

So fast forward and blog readers only, this is where you will find out that exactly 4 weeks after the first corneal abrasion, I got another one. So I made a doctors appointment for the 27th August. I attended the appointment filled with hope as this would be with my gp, who had more experience and didn’t feel like they had anything to prove. Unfortunately that was not the case. I explained to the gp that I had suffered 2 corneal abrasions in the last 4 weeks, that I am allergic to three brands of the night time ointment that I had tried . I attempted to show them these photos to show how bad the reaction was but I was told quite firmly “I believe you”

It soon became clear though that they really didn’t believe me. They asked if I was allergic to Lacrilube which I told them I had used it in the past with no issues, however there is a national shortage of it in the UK, I was using the NHS suggested replacement and I was allergic to that. They then decided, despite the computer flashing up that there was a national shortage of this drug when they tried to prescribe it to ring the local pharmacy to see if they had it stock. I could hardly contain myself when I heard the pharmacist tell them loud and clear there is a national shortage of the medication. They then proceeded to tell me that she would prescribe me more of the ointment I was allergic too and if I didn’t want to use that perhaps I could get up 3 to 4 times a night to put my day time drops in.

I will admit to getting rather cross at this point and asked at what point would they consider repeated corneal abrasions serious enough for me to be referred to the Ophthalmologist? I pointed out that I have a connective tissue disorder Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and that eyes are made of collagen. I challenged them to explain why putting my sight at risk was acceptable as due to having EDS I was at risk of scarring. I was really angry, so angry I would have cried if I could produce the tears. My voice was shaking. They then said “you seem angry”. What is this naming feelings shit? It doesn’t make me calmer it makes me more angry, I am not a child who can’t identify what I am feeling. I got crosser and replied “Yes I am angry. I am angry that after two corneal abrasions and two gp appointments I am still being fobbed off.” They interrupted and said “I am not fobbing you off but the Ophthalmology department won’t see you whilst you are taking morphine as that will dry your eyes out.” I pointed out that I was diagnosed with dry eyes at least 5 years before I started taking morphine and I found it highly unlikely that morphine would now suddenly be making my eyes much drier than they had been for the last 14 or so years. 

To cut a long story short I had to demand to be referred to an ophthalmologist as they had tried all the eye medications open to them as a gp and now I needed a specialists in put. To pacify me I am sure she told me she would speak to the ophthalmologists and see if they would accept a referral. The attitude of this doctor to essentially prevent me from seeing a specialist when it was clear that my eyes were severely dry and causing corneal abrasions because my eyelids are sticking to my eyeballs overnight really upset me. Like I said earlier if I could have cried I would have done. I am so sick of everything being a battle and I am seriously worried for patients if they have conditions that need a consultants input that referrals are being barred for no other reason than financial. That is wrong on so many levels and against the hippocratic oath.

Funnily enough less than a week later I got a letter through to book an appointment with the Eye Hospital. Look at that, they did want to see me, even if I was on medication that could make the dry eyes worse. The fact that my letter came through so quickly made me even angrier because it was even clearer that this was about finances not what was best for the patient.

So today ( Tuesday 24th ) I went to the eye hospital. I attended by myself on my mobility scooter as on the letter it stated I could be there up to three hours doing tests before I got to see a consultant / registrar. That was way too long to expect Dembe to work as he is only 10 months and I won’t put him in situations that would be too much for him for fear of putting him off due to bad experiences. So Jay dropped me off and headed back home. 

As usual whomever designs hospital waiting rooms seemed to have failed to grasp that some patients will need mobility aids such as frames, rollators, wheelchairs and scooters. The chairs were crammed together with no space for anyone using a wheelchair or scooter to get themselves into and out of that area safely. This total lack of awareness in a fucking hospital of all places really grinds my gears. This place should be the gold fucking standard of accessibility as surely the disabled are the ones who are going to be using this resource more than the rest of the population. Come on people its 2019 and we are still treating the disabled as an inconvenience or invisible.

I digress. I managed to find a spot for me to occupy that wouldn’t cause an obstruction. I was worried as many people attending the clinic are legally blind, so I checked with the nursing staff that I was ok. I had a quick vision test reading letters off a board  and then I was back in the waiting room. I would be called into consulting room 7, 8 or 9. I was called in reasonably quickly by a young lady doctor. She was exceptionally polite and courteous. I won’t lie I was terrified all of yesterday and this morning that they were going to treat me like a time waster and tell me I would have to come off morphine before they would treat me. After all this is more or less what the gp had suggested. This couldn’t have been any further from the truth.

The doctor was very concerned to learn that I have been suffering from minor corneal abrasions for a year before having the two within 4 weeks. Fingers crossed I have managed to avoid one since 10th August – I know I have probably just jinxed myself. She asked me what ointments I had tried at night to lubricate my eyes and attempt to prevent the abrasions. So I brought out the three tubes. I then said I am allergic to all three, so she asked me to tell her the symptoms. Thankfully in the waiting room I had the presence of mind to screenshot my photos from August so they were the first photos on my phone and I didn’t have to spend an age scrolling – I take a lot of photos. She was quite shocked at the level of swelling. I let her know it isn’t just swelling but the skin burns and itches. She said to me that I shouldn’t use the ointments with that level of reaction to them. Which left me wondering why my gp had issued me with another prescription for one of them? Had they bothered to look at my photos maybe they would have accepted how bad the reaction was. How I have got away with no abrasions since August I have no idea as at best I have probably used the ointments 2 to 3 times a week. As the swelling is crazy after one application and takes a couple of days to go down.

We then went through my day time routine with my eyes and the medications being used, plus my symptoms. I am pretty sure that the gp had stated that I had watery eyes due to dry eyes, which as weird as that sounds is a symptom that some people have with the condition. I never have. I used to have eyes that watered every time I yawned but they don’t even do that anymore. The consultant seemed genuinely surprised when I said no my eyes don’t water and she rechecked the letter she had in front of her. She was very pleased that I had taken matters into my own hands and tried different drops as it moves the situation forward ( I brought all my eye medications I use or have tried with me). She told me if I hadn’t of done this she would now have to try me on various medications to see if they worked. As this had already been done she could go straight to prescribing Ciclosporin eye drops. 

The Ciclosporin eye drops are to used instead of the night time eye ointment. She has warned me they will sting badly when applied and probably make my eyes water. If I can stick with it around 80% of people who are placed on them find they work for them. They will take 3 months to reach full effect. However she wants me back in clinic in 6 weeks as by then I should know if they are helping at all. At that clinic appointment depending on how they are working they may add steroid drops into the mix . She let me know if the Ciclosporin drops don’t work we haven’t reached the end of the of the road and there are still other things to try.

I also had a thorough eye examination. My retinas were checked, the surface of my eye was checked – I had the lovely yellow dye put in them. She flicked my eyelids up on themselves – that made me feel sick and she did it without any warning! She also prodded the bottom lid with a cotton wool bud ( Q tip ) looking at the tear production glands. She told me I have two issues. Firstly I have very dry eyes probably caused by a combination of factors my hormones – the delight of the menopause can make dry eyes worse, my medications – I dispute this as these medications I have been on for years and the dry eyes only took a turn for the worse 12 months ago. However I can’t be bothered to argue as they are treating me seriously and not fobbing me off. Thirdly your autonomic nervous system also controls your mucous membranes so it would make sense with mine being so naughty that it has a hand in this. I made it clear that I wasn’t concerned with what was causing the dryness more the fact I wanted the corneal abrasions limited if not stopped.

After the appointment I was absolutely fucked. I hadn’t realised how very stressed I was due to the gp making out that I was wasting everyone’s time. I was worried about the information the referral letter would contain . The doctor I saw today was really pleasant and thorough. I felt listened to and validated in my demands to be referred to the hospital. Ciclosporin can only be prescribed by a consultant and will mean ( if I can tolerate it) that I will need to attend the eye clinic every 6 months. However after two corneal abrasions it should never have needed me getting so angry to push the gp to do this. Especially when they weren’t offering me any way to limit or prevent the corneal abrasions. I do worry for other patients all over the UK who have real issues that need consultant level intervention who are being denied access to them. I thank god that I stood my ground and got my referral.

Just for a few giggles – I went through the entire hospital and hospital grounds on my mobility scooter completely unaware that my face was stained with the yellow dye they had used on my eyes. No wonder I was getting a few strange looks!

It was worse than this, it was only because I had wiped my eyes I realised!

Dry Eyes

I got diagnosed with dry eyes over ten years ago, it could have been 15 years ago, I just know Travis ( our first Weimaraner) was alive then. How I found out I had dry eyes was due to the fact a cigarette end had blown into my eye whilst we were in the car. The agony it caused I will never forget. I had a burn to my cornea and thankfully no lasting damage but a few weeks later my eyes were feeling very sore so I took myself off to the eye infirmary where I had a few tests and found out my eyes were incredibly dry.

On and off for years they have been treated ( very poorly) with the first line treatment for mild cases of dry eyes hypomellose. That treatment in all the years I have been taking it does nothing, the liquid evaporates off my eyeball in a matter of seconds and I am back to the sore, itchy burning feeling I basically put up with 24/7. On the odd occasion when I have made a fuss I am given lacrilube to use at night, which is alike vaseline for your eyeballs. It is fabulous stuff but it means you can see fuck all for hours once it has been applied so has to be done when you are certain you are going to sleep.

I have brought up with numerous doctors that my dry eyes were getting worse, that I am waking up with crusty eyes that then burn and sting for the rest of the day. For some reason I just haven’t pushed this and have allowed myself to be fobbed off with the excuse that it is my medication causing my dry eyes as if this is in some way my fault. I am now coming off all medication that causes dry eyes – even though I have been put on these after the diagnosis of dry eyes was given.

On Sunday morning I woke up with with my eyelid stuck to my eyeball. That is as grim as that sounds. Only I didn’t twig what was going on until after I rubbed my left eye and it felt like the top surface of my eyeball had been removed. The pain caused my eye to water profusely. I also worked out that this has been happening for months to a much lesser extent, I keep waking up with a searing pain in my eyes, my eyeball has been sticking to my eyelid.

I realised quite early on, that I had an abrasion on my cornea but I just didn’t want to have to go to the local minor injuries unit with the high probability that they would send me onto the eye infirmary. I foolishly thought how bad could it possibly get ? I decided that I would ignore it in the hope that the pain settled because ignoring it has always worked so well in the past. We decided that we would take Dembe up to the local supermarket to give him some experience of dealing with a shop environment, noise and large volumes of people. He handled it like a pro and we were both so proud of him.

He is walking like a dream and has stopped jumping up at me when I am on my scooter. He now sits beside me and waits for me to give him a cuddle.

My eye pain was ok as long as I was 100% distracted, so I threw myself into binding a quilt I had made for Jamie aka Mr Myasthenia Kid. I wanted to get it finished and he wanted it finished and on his bed! I managed to get that done but as soon as I finished and no longer had anything to distract me the eye pain ramped up by about 500.

I actually waited until Monday to take this photo.

We decided we would start watching season 3 of Stranger Things. I sat with a hot compress on my eye because my logic was the heat would help it as they advise a hot compress with dry eyes. I was kidding myself still that the eye pain was dry eye and would settle. I lasted 20 minutes until I asked Jay to take me to the local hospital where they had a minor injuries unit. I knew (well I hoped they still had it ) that they had all the kit for an eye exam, I kept my fingers crossed that they wouldn’t insist on sending me to the hospital and the eye infirmary. As I knew the wait would be horrendous and sitting up like that for several hours would knock me for six.

Jay dropped me at the eye infirmary and he took Dembe out for a walk. I am extremely grateful that I was seen within 20 minutes of arriving. It wasn’t busy but there were other people coming in with more serious issues than I had. I was ushered in but immediately told that they would only do a basic eye exam and then send me to the main hospital as I had Ehlers Danlos syndrome. I questioned this as I knew it was just an abrasion and no need for the trek to the hospital ( one I hate due to a couple of twatish doctors based there). I was informed as the eye is made up 100% of collagen they couldn’t mess about. I was shocked that this nurse was so on the ball with EDS. Normally they are clueless, not their fault if they have never come across it I must add.

I made a few grumbling noises along the lines of its just an abrasion there is nothing wrong with the rest of my eye and that sitting for hours up there would make me much sicker in the long run. I had an eye test which I think I did reasonably well or well enough to convince her I wasn’t in danger of losing my sight imminently. So she acquiesced and did a proper eye exam. The local anesthetic stang like hell, it felt like I had a million paper cuts on the surface of my eye and she had poured vinegar on it. Once the stinging wore off it provided me with a lot of relief as the pain was dulled massively. She had a look at the structure of my eye which was all sound. She then added the lovely yellow stain that they put in and immediately could see I had a superficial abrasion right across the centre of my eye. I hadn’t been able to pinpoint where the pain was coming from my eye hurt and hurt more every time I had to blink. It made sense that it was right across my eye.

Me when I got back from the minor injuries unit. I was given antibiotic ointment, as my eyes were so dry it would provide some relief as it has to be put in 4 times a day. I was made to promise that if it wasn’t any better the following day I had to head to the main hospital and get it checked out. Thankfully it was an awful lot better the following day.

I have an appointment with my gp next week that I had booked for another reason – which I will still be bringing up! By the time I go to my appointment the local injuries unit would have informed them that I had an abrasion on my cornea caused by my eyeball sticking to my eyelid and that my dry eyes need to be treated! However as it is more than a week away I have spent £30 on dry eye ointment for night time to keep my eyes moist and to prevent them sticking to my eyelids again and some much stronger eye drops that should provide more relief than the tap water ( sarcasm but that might as well be what it is) I have been prescribed up until now and that someone saw fit to remove from my repeat prescription list. 

My eyes are still quite uncomfortably dry, I am awaiting my delivery of the day time drops as nothing I have here if I wish to be able to see at all will provide any relief. When people say they have dry eyes unless you have experienced it you would never realise how bloody painful it can be.