I know I am not the only one who is suffering through lack of sleep at the moment. My news feed is full of people all saying the same thing, wide awake and can’t settle down to sleep or wide awake at 3am with heart racing mid panic attack. This virus is doing a number on all of us, mentally and physically. Add in a dog that is refusing to accept the clocks have changed and is waking you up at 5am most mornings and you have me exhausted.com.
On top of not sleeping it has also been a busy few days for me as I started making masks due to friends and family asking me if I would. Initially I was reluctant as there seemed to be very clear advice coming from the medical profession and the government in the UK saying that they weren’t effective. However over the last few days a few studies have been published looking at the effectiveness of home made masks and they have said that yes they do work. They do need to be made from quilters cotton and a double layer of fabric. The ones I have been making also have a pocket in the back so you can add in a filter – either a proper mask filter or any unwoven material will do.
It has been a non stop mask making factory here for a few days and I have pushed it beyond what was sensible so I have landed with a bump today. Utterly exhausted, short tempered and feeling very fed up. I also feel like I haven’t accomplished anything which is utterly ridiculous as I have supplied friends and family with washable, re-usuable masks in an attempt to keep them safe . So why is my brain making me feel so bad??? It makes no sense I should be walking on air. Especially since I have had such lovely feed back from those that have received their masks. I think it is a mixture of anxiety and sleep deprivation.
After finishing the masks this morning I have just hit a wall of fatigue. It is frustrating as I want to do stuff but the mental and physical fatigue means if I do try to do anything I will make a complete hash of it so it is better to just rest for the remainder of the day and not feel the urge to complete / do stuff to feel worthy. The masks were enough and the last one today was an endurance challenge just because I was so tired and it was beginning to affect my vision.
I did wake up this morning feeling really down in the dumps which is unusual for me. I think it is a mixture of a lot of things, Covid-19 and the anxiety it induces, the fact that our first holiday since 2006 has been cancelled, not sleeping, my routine of 12 years up in the air due to hubby being home, no time to myself, not being able to see people ( not that I saw them a lot ) just so many different things. We are incredibly lucky and I do know that. We haven’t got to worry about money, Jay has a job and is being paid. So many people don’t have that currently. Our mortgage will be paid along with our bills. So many of my friends are struggling having been made redundant or losing customers as they are self employed. I know that we are very fortunate but like a lot of people I am finding this new normal very weird and taking some time to adjust too.
I’m writing this to let you know that if you are feeling any of these things it is totally normal. It is a totally bizarre thing that we are going through all over the world at the moment. It is natural for us to feel out of sorts, unable to sleep etc at times of stress.
I know it isn’t a massive post this week but I am dead on my feet, there is nothing left in the tanks. If I knew it wouldn’t interfere with me sleeping tonight, I would be in bed already!
This is my mini quilt that I rushed to put together on Sunday morning. Here in the UK we are placing rainbows in the window, so that as people walk past on the daily exercise out of the house if they aren’t shielding, it makes them smile. I love it when people are walking past stop and look at it – hopefully they aren’t looking at it saying it is crap but looking at it and smiling!