My writing mojo is currently MIA, on friday I found out that a lad I went to school with and kept in contact with on social media passed away aged just 44. Leaving behind his wife and daughter whom he adored.
This just broke me, Friday into Saturday I barely slept. I spoke to a good friend overnight via social media and was sobbing for most of the night. I also had irrationally decided that my sewing machine was a piece of crap and that I would have to buy a new one, sending the old one back. It’s funny how grief, insomnia and emotional exhaustion will leave you exhausted and utterly irrational.
There is nothing wrong with my sewing machine, I have had some issues with it as I had been using the wrong size bobbins. On Friday my new bobbins arrived and the machine was running better. I told myself on Saturday morning if it didn’t run ok when I gave it a quick go, then I would be contacting the company that sold it to me and asking for a refund. Of course ever since the new bobbins have been here its been running beautifully.
However at around 7.30am I had a complete meltdown. Jay got really worried that I was heading for a bout of depression. Thankfully despite everything that life has thrown at me since losing Willow in December, I was just expressing my grief. My friend passing away, who I had known since I was 11 and was a month older than me, was just a massive shock. I had a bloody good cry and then pulled myself together as at 8.30am a decorator was coming to paint our stairwell. I didn’t think he’d want me blubbing every five minutes.
As the lounge was going to be stinking of paint I decided to take the plunge and make myself my first piece of clothing from some jersey material I had bought in the Christmas sales. I had to make the pattern by working out how my favourite top was constructed. It took me all of Saturday to make the pattern, cut the fabric and then sew the body and two arms. On Sunday I hemmed the body and inserted the arms. Finally I did the neck, I am so pleased with it, purely because I made it. Yes there are mistakes in it and it will probably never be worn outside the house but I made it. It is my design loosely based on another top.
Today I have made a little travel sewing kit tidy. It’s been a nightmare and harder than making the top as the instructions were diabolical. Its taken me most of the day, leaving me with my back in spasm but I got to use four different feet on my sewing machine.
The day this blog post is published I will be attending the funeral of my friend Pam. I think half the reason I have kept myself so busy this week is because I am dreading this day. Saying goodbye to her will break my heart. Sleep tight Pam x