Just when you begin to think that life couldn’t get any tougher and you finally feel like you can take a breath again, the universe laughs and tosses you another curve ball. I wrote a while back that two people in my life were battling terminal illnesses, both of them had lung cancer. And whilst I knew what the inevitable outcome would be, that at some point I would face the rest of my life without them in it, nothing can actually prepare you for the day it happens.
As regular readers of my blog will know my Grandmother passed away on January 6th this year. Then on Friday 26th January I was awoken with the news I had been waiting for all night. That my dear friend of over 20 years had passed away. In the last 12 months I have been through 5 bereavements, in the past 6 weeks three of them occurred. To say I am at breaking point is an understatement.
Losing Pam, is like losing a close member of my family. We have in those 20 years been neighbours twice, when I lived at my flat she lived on the floor below. When I was being shown around the house I am currently in, Pam leaned out of the back bedroom window stating house prices would drop should we decide to move in. When we came to view this house we had no idea that Pam lived next door, as our close friendship didn’t really develop until 2007 onwards, although we had always been friends.
To sum Pam up in a few words is impossible, when they made her they smashed up the mould, pulverised its pieces and spread them all over the globe purely because the universe knew there was only room in the world for one Pam. She was hysterically funny, whether she meant to be or not. She had excellent comic timing and I have lost count over the years how many times she made me choke on my tea or got me to snort it out of my nose. She would do anything for anybody nothing was too much trouble. She has helped me and Jay out of many scrapes at the drop of a hat. She was like that with everyone she knew.
I don’t think Pam every truly realised how many people loved her. I know she found it hard to comprehend why all these different people were sending her flowers, gifts and coming to visit her. She told me she felt truly blessed and been particularly touched by a lady who she had been to school with who had tracked her down after numerous years
Pam knew people from all walks of life, if you ever went out with her you could guarantee she would know someone. It always used to make me laugh that when I had tradesmen at the house to fix stuff, I would find them outside chatting to Pam, she either knew them or knew their mums. It was crazy the amount of people she knew. So I have a feeling when we say our final goodbyes the place is going to be filled to the rafters with those who loved you. So many people are hurting right now, none more so than her family. I am so grateful to have known you and to have had you in my life for the last 20 years.