I’m not on a downer…….but this post may sound like I am! – I’m just sick of being sick!

So just when you think life with this crazy illness couldn’t get any worse it manages to surprise you yet again.

Last night I ended up with double / bilateral ptosis http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ptosis_%28eyelid%29, see the guy on the right hand side of the page in the black and white photo, he has unilateral ptosis meaning one eye. Both mine went last night with very little warning. My right eye had been looking lazy all day, the lid line was actually through my pupil. It had affected my vision all day making it blurry and totally destroying any depth perception I had. Then by 1830 last night my left eye tired of being the only one open  joined in. At this point I conceeded defeat and went to bed. Hubs brought my dinner up to bed, luckily I could just see through my lashes on my left eye and managed to find my dinner. He implored me to take my Mestinon – Pyridostigmine Bromide 60 mg tablets, you know the ones that the drs tell me just make me feel good but don’t actually open my eye. He even threatened me with ringing my mum……I know he is desperate when he threatens that. I declined and told him my stomach wasn’t going to tolerate mestinon as it has been dodgy all day. I was quite happy to go to sleep and see what it was like in the morning. He didn’t ring her.

At 5am this morning I was pretty pleased that I hadn’t taken the Mestinon, if I had things would have been an awful lot worse. I was jolted awake with a gurgling stomach and one telling me that I was going to have to get to the bathroom quick. Luckily I made it but I was pretty poorly. Mestinon can give you diorhea, really awful diorhea. It was bad enough without the mestinon in the mix. I lay in bed until 7am and gave up trying to sleep as every time I had just dropped off I needed to go to the bathroom again. My back and pelvis were hurting also, after being in bed the best part of 12 hours. I wandered down stairs sat at the back door and the ptosis that had resolved over night happened again. Thankfully just the right eye as it normally is.

For 90 minutes I tried to decide if I would take mestinon or not. Mestinon can also make me vomit so its a tough choice I can have reasonable vision or spew out of both ends. Its not a decision to be taken lightly as I was already feeling nauseous. I decided that hubs was under enough stress with having to go to work late night – leaving me until after 10pm. I owed it to him to have some decent vision if I was going to be alone from 1pm. So I took my mestinon cocktail, 2 loperimide, 2 domperidone and a mestinon.

Within 45 minutes the mestinon (that we all know doesn’t work – heavy sarcasm) opened my right eye, but the vision has been left blurry and my eyes are not tracking things properly. I was watching a Heron fly over and my vision was just jumping seeming to be unable to track in a fluid motion. It was like watching a DVD that kept sticking.

Fast forward a few hours and I am puking on the patio. I was at the back door talking to hubs as he did the dishes and suddenly I had an overwhelming urge to vomit. Knowing that these days I am not speedy there was no way I would make it to the bathroom. The patio seemed the next obvious choice. Poor hubs he has such a weak stomach, he can puke just with having to clear up after the dogs.If any of you have seen Jackass, hubs is like the camera man that pukes all the time. Hubs just has to hear me being sick or one of the dogs being sick and he just has to jump on the band wagon and join in.His stomach seems to have got weaker with age. Its actually become quite funny if I am feeling particularly wicked I only have to make retching noises for him to start vomiting!

Hubs was a star this morning, he carried on doing the dishes and then handed me a large plastic bowl that we use for occasions just like these. Unfortunately me puking isn’t that uncommon. He stayed just feet away from me in the kitchen pretending to clear up whilst keeping a close eye on me. When I finished and asked for a glass of water he just said “Those anti sickness meds work a treat don’t they”. Humour is what we always use to get ourselves through days like today.

I have a banging headache, my stomach is cramping from the mestinon and despite taking another dose of the anti sickness meds I feel like I could hurl at any minute. I text messaged my next door neighbours to apologise for the noise of me being ill on the patio. Thankfully they are understanding and it isn’t the first time it has happened. Damn these terraced houses and living so close to each other that you can’t even puke in your own garden without the whole road hearing!

So hubs has gone off to work and I am resting on my bed. This mornings antics have thoroughly exhausted me. I have no idea what my pulse or blood pressure is like today as I haven’t had the opportunity to measure them. As long as I am still tapping away on the lap top I am conscious and alive!

2 thoughts on “I’m not on a downer…….but this post may sound like I am! – I’m just sick of being sick!

  1. Hi hun. I've seen you many times with this and know how the meds they say 'don't' work do. But then it's a trade off between seeing or being sick. It just seems like you are trapped in a no-win scenario and I wish I could wave a magic wand and make you better.

    As you know I'm not a great believer in doctors having all the answers – just look at how I cured my IBS, despite my doctors protests at the time. So I want to believe there IS an answer out there somewhere, one we just don't know about yet.

    Sending hugs your way.


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