Back to myself!

After feeling so isolated Monday and not wanting to do anything my mood has completely changed. After whining on my blog I made myself do a few basic housework things and sat and watched a programme I had taped. Monday seemed to stretch for an eternity, I just wanted Hubs to come home. As soon as he did after 6pm everything felt better.

Mentally I am feeling good , although I am nervous as I have a hospital appointment tomorrow. Too many times I have been given a diagnosis at one appointment to have it taken away at the next and end up with nothing. Other than being told that my illness is all in my head. I can no longer trust the majority of the medical profession and that’s a sad thing to say when they are the people I need to get help from.

I have been sleeping better and have had no bouts of insomnia since I think it was Thursday last week when I went around the clock. I have been sleeping for around 9-13 hours a night and its been good deep sleep. I worked out that if I took Tramadol at all in the day, it stopped me sleeping at night. So I have stopped taking the tramadol and I am trying other meds to stop my pain, plus using heat pads when I can. However if the pain gets so bad that I need to take it then I will.

It sort of lends to the theory that there is something neurological going on as people with neurological illnesses process opiates in a different way to “normal” controls. Which is why when I am an in patient in hospital they are always really careful when they give me medication like morphine or tramadol. Even though my notes state that 2 neurologists think there is nothing wrong with me. Its a bit strange that the staff in other parts of the hospital beg to differ.

My main problem at the moment is staying warm – even though the weather has been really mild and people are not wearing coats my hands are permanently blue! I am wearing thermal vests, t-shirts and sweatshirts to keep warm. Not to mention my trusty knee length socks! My feet still feel like blocks of ice!

I am going through a bit of a rough patch, my blood pressure keeps dropping and tilting my head forward or bending forward is a complete no no! Its making my head swim and making me feel like I will pass out. I am also having problems with standing or walking around. I am OK for about 3-4 mins and then I am feeling light headed and my brain says ” no you need to sit down NOW!” if I am lucky I will make it to some where decent to sit if not I just have to drop to the floor. Its a strange feeling, your here but not here and even talking is extremely difficult and you can’t follow the conversation. So the last few days have been spent either horizontal or sitting with my feet up in a recliner.

So yes the mood is better but the body is lagging behind!

2 thoughts on “Back to myself!

  1. Hi Rachel .. that's good to know that you're feeling better — even if the body is inferring otherwise occasionally ..

    I do hope you can improve things a little further and have two steps forward .. and only a little one back occasionally …

    I can't say anymore .. I guess the less you think about it the better it'll be for a while .. just look after yourself as best you can .. with thoughts Hilary


  2. Hi Hilary,

    Thanks again for your kind words. Pretty tired today after my hospital appointment but the good news is that I have now started some medication to hopefully help me have a better quality of life. So fingers crossed.

    Much love


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