Motivating ones self

I am so bored today! I don’t know what to do with myself. I can’t be bothered to watch TV, read or do any writing I am sick of my own company. I think this is a payback for a busy weekend and seeing my parents etc. I always have this come down the first day I am alone.

Normally I cope with my solitude pretty well finding things to do to entertain myself. Today I just can’t be arsed. It was even touch and go whether I could be bothered to post on my blog but I have forced myself to come here and write. It didn’t matter what it was about as long as I posted.

Entertaining yourself constantly when you are housebound the majority of the time can be a chore. Normally I manage to plan things that I would like to do that week. This week I have stuff to do I just don’t have any motivation to do them. They aren’t burning issues or anything I can get passionate about.

I’m not depressed, tearful, I don’t feel particularly unwell I know I have felt worse. I did try this morning to do some physical stuff but my heart rate went off the scale and left me feeling weird. That’s now passed. So what to do?

I find this mood strikes me when I have been active socially. I enjoy the company of others but normally I do enjoy my own company. Today I can’t stand my own company!!! I had two lovely visits from my parents over the weekend and one of my husbands friends came up for a visit as well. Hubs and I did a few jobs around the house together for me it was a busy weekend. I really enjoyed myself but now I am left with this empty feeling. Is this how every day of the rest of my life is going to be?

I know in reality obviously it isn’t, today I feel glum because I had such a good weekend. Tomorrow will be different and I will get on an even keel again.

Thank god I have my blog in which I can moan and whine to so that I don’t chew the ears off the people who are close to me.

I do have some good news I am tolerating the antibiotics and they are making a difference. They are making me very sensitive to sunlight but that’s a price I am willing to pay. So its not all bad!

I have to find some good in today!

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2 thoughts on “Motivating ones self

  1. Hi Rachel .. I can feel for you – seeing elderly in a Nursing Centre everyday .. some wait, some are active, some manage to be at peace with the situation.

    Motivation is a tricky thing .. perhaps doing the odd learning course on line .. video tuition ..

    learning photoshop .. then you could teach me! .. etc etc

    It must be very difficult .. I just hope things can get easier soon .. with thoughts … Hilary

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  2. Hi Hilary,
    thank you for your kind words.

    Its the frustration as well that I feel wanting to do things but the body letting me down. It hasn't helped that I am going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment, so everything is so much harder.

    It will pass and I have to believe that!

    Rach

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